Feature Story
October 24, 2007
By News Re****ter Jerry Simonreid
San Bernadino California, USA
I know that toilet paper isn't the most popular subject to discuss.
However,
we know by comparing disease rates in civilized countries versus countries
with no flush toilets and toilet paper that your health and life depends
on
good hygene. Much of the reason we are so healthy in the USA is because of
running water, wa****ng hands, and of course, toilet paper. But what if we
ran out?
Here's some info for you to get ahead of the crowds. You know those
wildfires in southen California now? Well, I bet you didn't know that the
Clappington Paper Products factory is one of the many business that burned
down.
Have you ever noticed that regardless of the brand of toilet paper you
purchase, that there are only five or six different types of toilet paper
on
the market. But there are a lot of brands and a lot of different names.
Have you noticed that there are only a couple different types of packaging
for toilet paper?
Well, the secret is out. About 97 1/2 percent of the toilet paper in the
US,
Canada, and Mexico is manufactured in one facility. That would be the
Clappington Factory, in southern CA. You see, the finished product is so
light weight, it is easy to trans****t by truck. Nearly no weight at all.
And
the factory is so close to the border, they use a lot of illegal immigrant
labor. This is an open secret - because INS knows what would happen to the
nation if the one TP factory closed.
Well, it did close. The wildfires in southern CA have burned down the one
factory which makes 97 1/2 percent of the TP in the US, Mexico, and
Canada.
It is expected to be 6 to 8 weeks before any other manufacturing facility
can make adequate supplies of TP.
Governor Schwarzenegger has enough troubles with the fire, and staying
elected. He can't afford to be known as the governor who deprived the
nation
of toilet paper. So, he's ordered a news blackout of the story. You havn't
seen it on the news, right? But the email and internet allow us to know
things that aren't on the news.
Stores have only about a 2 to 3 day supply of TP on the shelves. Wait till
the word gets out, you'll see a run on toilet paper like never before. And
it's going to be 6 weeks at the very minimum till the stores have any
more.
If you havn't stocked up, now is the time. And forward this message to
everyone in your adress book. You wouldn't want your close friends to be
out
of something so im****tant. I wouldn't joke about something this serious.
Information courtesy of:
Sergeant K. Jameson,
Engine Company Sergeant,
San Bernadino Fire Department
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