The Original Version
The ant (a Republican) works hard in the withering heat all summer long,
building his house and laying up supplies for the winter
The grasshopper thinks the ant (a Republican) is a fool and laughs and
dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or
shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!
MODERN VERSION
The ant (a Republican) works hard in the withering heat all summer long,
building his house and laying up supplies for the winter
The grasshopper (an illegal) thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and
dances
and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the ****vering grasshopper calls a press conference and
demands
to know why the ant should be warm and well fed while others are cold and
starving.
CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the ****vering
grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a
table
filled with food.
America is stunned by the sharp contrast.
How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper
is
allowed to suffer so?
Kermit the Frog (Sean Penn) appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and
everybody cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green.'
Jesse Jackson and Charlie Sharpton stage a demonstration in front of the
ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, 'We shall
overcome. Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the
grasshopper's sake.
Nancy Pelosi, Barack Obama, John Kerry & Harry Reid exclaim in an
interview
with Larry King that the ant (a Republican) has gotten rich off the back
of
the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to
make
him pay his fair share.
Finally, Barack Obama drafts the Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act
retroactive to the beginning of the summer! The ant is fined for failing
to
hire a pro****tionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay
his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government under the
laws of the United Nations and headed by Jimmy Carter.
Hillary Clinton gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a
defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of
federal judges that Bill Clinton appointed from a list of single-parent
welfare recipients.
The ant loses the case.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper fini****ng up the last bits of the
ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be
the
ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it.
George
Clooney cheers.
The ant has disappeared in the snow.
The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house,
now
abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders (Illegals) who terrorize the
once peaceful neighborhood.
MORAL OF THE STORY:
Be very careful how you vote in 2008
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