Okay, so Christina Milian has apparently taken the accelerated Beyoncé
track, and has gone from Disney 411 to singing songs about banging random
guys from nightclubs in the space of three months. Suss out the comments
on Lindsey Lohan's IWATDQ co-star Mandy Fox's FLM[1] message boards and
you will find a gaggle of men positively tortured by this pre-legal
walking *** doll Disney has cruelly foisted upon them.[2] There is a whole
generation of boys whose first ***ual thought undoubtedly involved a
Disney starlet, and Disney seems to be positioning itself as the launchpad
for tomorrow's **** stars.
And last night, skipping down from HBO Zone's presentation of "Turn-on
TV", I turned to HBO Family[3] which was showing a do***entary series
called "Middle School Confessions", during a segment wherein thirteen
year-old girls were talking very matter-of-factly about sucking cock. I
don't think I can be emphatic enough on this point: THIRTEEN YEAR OLD
GIRLS ARE MATTER-OF-FACTLY DISCUSSING THE WAY THEY SUCK THIRTEEN-YEAR-OLD
BOY'S COCKS. Apparently, even HBO Family goes blue after midnight. One
girl's mother was concerned about letting her daughter attend the slumber
parties of a friend who is known- as intercepted communications have
revealed- for inviting boys over to her sleepovers and sucking their
cocks. Also, these girls were quite sanctimonious about still being
virgins; I think thirteen years is too young even to be santimonious about
being a virgin, as this already introduces an explosive system of
oppositions.
I'll not deign to dispense moral outrage here as I found the whole matter
quite unexpectedly arousing. I will say, however, that if a girl started
sucking my cock when *I* was thirteen, she would have had to go at it for
the next year and a half before much of anything would have happened.
It is interesting that Gen Y is both the most prematurely ***ualized and
yet ***ually conservative generation in recent memory-- I'll call it the
Brooke ****elds effect. People who grouse of America's Puritanical
attitudes towards *** and those who believe the media is inculcating
***ual behavior in the young with glorified ***ual images both fail to see
their actual alliance and- nothing would please me more to say- their
outdatedness. The reality of American Puritanism is not the the dirtying
of *** in media but rather its idealization (other cultures'
non-idealization of *** in representation put in continual relief by
wince-inducing things like Turn-on TV.) Idealization is ethically neutral,
it is precisely the disconnect between the reality and the simulacrum.
High art pretends to be **** and music videos pretend to be high art and
the video camera first-person POVs a girl- a fundamentalist Christian-
writhing on the ground covered in lovesweat and you- the end user- are
only pretending to **** her. In the end, it's all appearances, and Gen Y
has the unique acquired ability to negotiate this labyrinth of
appearances. Gen Y is not deadened or desensitized, rather, they are
amazingly open and receptive. They are not a revolutionary or reactionary
generation, they are a first generation. Generation Y isn't broadcast to,
they broadcast themselves, even if they have no selves yet to broadcast--
again, it is still only appearance, but appearance has a way of preceding
substance. It is a supremely entitled generation who believes its
identities and sets of moral proscriptions are the most im****tant things
in the world, and I find it heartening even when the results are
occasionally morally convoluted. The Gen Y persona is an appearance, it is
for show, yes, but only because it is waiting on a better substance; with
a genuine hope for improvement and some amount of religious optimism, I
can't imagine they'd end up with worse than what my generation was given.
Robert "shock only comes in one flavor" Caponi
notes:
[1] FLM: Fans Living with Mothers
[2] I was discussing the age of singer Joss Stone with my sister's
boyfriend whose face then contorted into an expression of having been
seized about the neck, who then said something about fighting to keep the
dirty thoughts at a distance. As a man who is obviously operating on a
much, much lower ***ual level than other men, it is easy for me to forget
that stuff like this can be a source of inner turmoil, and yet I can't
fathom what horrible catastrophe they think will happen if they finally
yield to these thoughts.
[3] HBO Family is mostly home to ****y Canadian kid's movies with kids
from acting schools where they're apparently forced to internalize ****y
Canadian kid actor standardized inflectional forms:
We have to retrieve!
__ ____
____ __ ___/
the magic scepter from Haba Yaga!
__ __ __ __
___ \__ \____ ____ \_ \_
so we can free the spirit of the mummy!
__ __
__ ___ ___ __ --- \__
___
____ ___
I would imagine a movie in which *every single line* is read like that is
playing at 200 decibels the next room over while one is trying to play
chess at the rec center might prove quite distracting indeed!
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