"nimue" <cup_o_cakes@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
news:469bb3eb$0$4696$4c368faf@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> tiny dancer wrote:
> > "nimue" <cup_o_cakes@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
> > news:469b9d32$0$4728$4c368faf@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> >> tiny dancer wrote:
> >> snip
> >>
> >>> Certainly nothing to do with this particular issue, but some years
> >>> ago, when the nuclear power plant was being built in our area, two
> >>> families of workers resided in our neighborhood. I met the wives
> >>> through my children, who became playmates of their kids. Over time
> >>> I came to learn a lot about these *families*. Way too much then I
> >>> ever wanted to know, about all of 'em. One of the things I learned
> >>> was that the husbands/workers at the plant, were extreme pot heads.
> >>> I wouldn't have called them *casual* or *recreational* users. After
> >>> the plant was completed and they moved along, I got a call from
> >>> another nuclear plant in another area of the country, wanting a
> >>> *reference* on these guys. WTF they gave me as a reference is
> >>> beyond me. But I politely refused to be a reference for them. I
> >>> told the caller that 'in good conscience I could not be a reference
> >>> for either of these men.' 'That I knew nothing about these people,
> >>> other than they were casual neighbors.'
> >>
> >> You did the right thing, tiny. You refused to be a reference, but
> >> did it in a way that didn't malign either person. Well done.
> >>>
> >>> Did I think they should be working on the construction of a nuclear
> >>> power plant, hell no. I wouldn't want them building my new home,
> >>
> >> Actually, I knew a FANTASTIC carpenter who was a real pothead. His
> >> work was amazing. It just took a long time to do it! I don't know
> >> if it was amazing because he took his time or if it would have taken
> >> less time if he hadn't been such a pothead. We wound up
> >> recommending him to friends; his work was that solid. They loved
> >> his work, too.
> >
> >
> > What I was more concerned about was *code*.
>
> Oh, I hear you. Making a gazebo is one thing -- making a nuclear power
> plant is quite another.
>
> >A carpenter, to me
> > anyway, is much like an artist. Their work can be magnificent. A
> > good carpenter, now days anyway, is really hard to find. The way I,
> > certainly not expert on the subject, understood the construction of a
> > nuclear power plant, the work had to be very accurate and precise as
> > to construction standards.
>
> I assume you are right.
>
> >Whether it be the gauge of metals used,
> > or other similar such matters. I mean, you don't want to use the
> > wrong strength of materials, wrong mixture of cement, whatever else
> > it entails.
> >
> > And it was their wives who made references as to their *ability* an
> > any particular day. That was how I learned their usage was far more
> > than recreational. They would make comments as to 'how high' they
> > were and 'hope they didn't have anything critical to do that day.'
>
> They laughed about that? That's scary. I have no problem with people
> smoking pot or having a glass of wine OFF THE JOB.
>
> > These comments weren't made in jest. It sometimes scared the ****
> > out of me, listening to them. They all used, but it was the husbands
> > who apparently were the heavy users. The wives I'd call recreational.
> >
> > I'm all in favor of legalization of pot. I don't have any hang-ups
> > about it. I've found it beneficial for certain pain relief,
>
> I hope you are feeling all right now.
Yeah, I am doing *better* pain wise, but I have to be so damn careful.
You
feel a bit better, and then over-do and screw yourself back up again. :(
And truly, pot never did a thing for me personally. I'd much rather have
a
glass or two of wine. ;) One time, when I'd been literally bent over
with
back pain, it took care of it for me, but that was a long time ago. I've
had certain people offer it to me, not understanding how really, I'd
rather
have the wine. Different strokes/different folks. A dear friend of mine
with serious eye disease is who I was thinking of when suggesting
medicinal/pain relief. It was the only thing that helped him. Me? I'd
rather have the hydromorphone. I consider pot much like beer. I've never
much liked beer either. Doesn't mean 'nobody should ever drink beer'
because I don't care for it.
>
> >when all
> > else has failed, and have recommended it to various people for either
> > pain or nausea, especially related to serious illnesses.
> >
> > Would I want my surgeon to be a bit *high* when operating on me? Not
> > a chance.
>
> I agree 100%. That is why I equate it with the glass of wine at dinner
--
> or at a state park while on a weekend trip thing. You can do it, just
not
> at work.
>
> > I felt the same way about these guys, working on something
> > like a nuclear power plant. My surgeon can toke on the week-end, but
> > when he steps into that operating room, I want his full attention and
> > quickness of reaction time, to be focussed on me. :-) I'm *funny*
> > that way.
>
> Once again, you and I are in complete agreement. Great minds...;-)
> >
> > Same way I'd prefer that my school principal not be picked up for pot
> > usage. If he wants to toke in the privacy of his residence, fine by
> > me. I don't think I'm being a hypocrite here. When it comes to
> > teenagers, at least from some I've seen, friends and acquaintances of
> > my own kids, kids of friends of mine, etc., it seems like for certain
> > teens, pot can be a precursor to a wasted life. I realize that
> > certain personality types are more prone to addictions. And I also
> > understand that in the accepted terms of *addiction*, pot doesn't
> > necessarily 'lead to' disaster. This is just MO, but I have seen
> > certain kids of the teen age, to have real problems with knowing when
> > to stop and when they are getting themselves into really DEEP ****.
> > And I think that for this type personality in a kid, knowing that
> > ones teachers/principal uses, just can't be positive for them.
>
> Well, I don't know. I mean, I guess kids assume their teachers and
> principals drink -- if they think about it at all, that is.
I could be really naive, but my guess would be that unless kids actually
*see* their teachers or principals out partying, or hear that they were
picked up for DUI, they probably consider them to be old foggies who
*don't
understand*. Much the same way kids 'don't think their parents have ***.'
;-] Or at least they try to not even contemplate the idea of it. ;-)
Right now, I'm picturing my friends' kid, way back when in high school,
validating his behavior by saying "Well, mr. so and so does it!" in that
snotty, argumentative voice *middle teens* do so well when they know they
are wrong, but damn it, they aren't going to admit it to their parents, so
there! ;) Man, I"m glad those years are over. Wouldn't go back there
no
way, no how, not for a million bucks. ;)
That's why I'm so torn on this one. I'm fla****ng back to how really hard
it
was to raise teenagers. Especially if one has more than one teen at a
time.
We had three going there for awhile. And you have to be so diligent, so
perceptive, and when you have *multiples*, you have to keep switching back
and forth from age range, early teens to late teens, keeping up with them
all. And keeping in mind the various issues you are facing within that
range. Be they, simply *fitting in* to drinking, driving, getting a
license, dating, etc. In many ways it was way worse than trying to keep
up
with three *little ones*.
As a parent, I just really want my teachers/principals, to not be bringing
to the forefront any *extra* issues. I've got enough all on my own, with
out adding to the mix. ;-) If you know what I mean.
Many jobs/professions require certain *standards* of behavior when in
public. It's simply the way things work. I wouldn't like to read in the
paper that my surgeon was arrested for DUI, or that the nurse in my ICU
was
picked up for smoking pot either. Most people aren't going to rationalize
'well, it was the week-end, they were on their own time, etc.,' With
some
professions, one just has to use more discretion than others, I think.
Some
years ago here, an anchor woman and her husband were riding in a car that
was involved in an accident. It was a *slight* accident, and neither she
nor her husband were the driver. But the driver was over the legal limit
when tested. And she caught a lot of flack locally for being involved in
this incident at all, even as a passenger in the car.
> >
> > I'm thinking here of one friend in particular. Let's see, their son
> > must be around 30 by now. He started out okay, but he's apparently
> > one of those kids who NEVER should have started anything, and
> > certainly shouldn't have had any sort of 'role models' around him
> > that gave him the idea any of this was *okay*. Oh, like the other
> > kids, he started out on pot. But he ended up having an insatiable
> > *need* for everything, including meth, heroin, coke, etc. I've lost
> > track of how many times he's been in and out of rehab.
>
> That's sad. I feel bad for him.
We do too. He was a good friend of one of our daughters when they were
young kids. They played together daily. Such a shame to see what's
become
of him. My daughter is just heartsick at how far he's sunk.
>
> >His field of
> > study had been 'working with kids'. But now he has a number of
> > felonies on his record, so that seems unlikely that he will ever get
> > a job in his *field*. And he has literally drained his parents
> > future retirement monies. In a way I feel for them, but then I want
> > to smack the **** out of 'em too, because they used to condone the
> > usage of pot in their home. Would toke up with their kids.
>
> THAT is a problem. I don't think parents should even drink with their
kids.
>
> > The
> > daughter is fine, can remain a casual user, but the son is a lost
> > cause.
>
> Is it genetic? What causes it?
I don't know. If I had to guess, I'd say he could have gotten a touch of
it
from the mom. But certainly not to the extent he's taken it. He's just
made such an absolute mess of his life completely. The parents have paid
and paid for counselors, programs, rehab, bail, car accidents, maintaining
his bills while he's in his latest re-hab. And it's caused problems
between
them, arguing about how much is ENOUGH.
>
> > And he's caused them more heartache and pain than I can even
> > begin to describe. He married last year around this time. A big
> > wedding, all the trimmings. I talked to his mom a few weeks ago.
> > He's back in rehab, the new bride has had to move to a different
> > apartment, as she couldn't afford the one they had on only her
> > salary. And I'm guessing the *marriage* isn't going to be rekindled
> > when he gets out of his latest half-way house.
> >
> > So I have really sticky *feelings* about teens, pot, and how we as
> > parents both set examples and try to keep them out of certain *stuff*
> > until they've had a few years to mature.
>
> I think there should be a legal age, like there is with alcohol.
Sure, but most kids don't adhere to the legal age for alcohol either.
>
> >Sort of the same as we do
> > with consuming alcohol. We know they are going to drink at a certain
> > age. And depending upon the kid, we try to keep them *safe* long
> > enough for their emotional maturity to catch up to the crap they will
> > inevitably get into, if that all makes sense?
>
> It does.
Sometimes I just had to shake my head at how well one of mine could behave
for a teacher! ;-) Mind you, I'm referring to those horrible teen
years. When a teacher would comment to me "she's just a doll in class!"
and I'd think "are we talking about the same, smart-mouthed kid here?"
;]
thank god they grow out of that stage, eventually.
td
> >
> > td
>
> --
> nimue
>
> "Let your freak-flag fly, and if someone doesn't get you, move on."
> Drew Barrymore
>
>
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