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<font size=6 color=red>This Thread Brought To You By The Letter
"W":</font><br>
<img src="http://img163.imageshack.us/img163/9180/bushespeoplehg1.jpg"><p>
<font size=6 color=red>In Case You Missed It Dept.:</font><p>
<font size=5 color=red>Mel Brooks will re****tedly bring his classic movie
Blazing Saddles to Broadway next year. It's about an urbane black cowboy
who
brings law and order to an all-white town in the Old West which comes to
love him. It was Hillary's favorite movie until about a year ago.
</font><p>
<font size=5 color=red>The Automobile Club on Friday forecast record
Memorial Day weekend highway travel despite gasoline prices nearing four
dollars per gallon. The fact that it's so expensive just makes it all the
more exciting. This was Eliot Spitzer's point all along. </font><p>
<font size=5 color=red>Barack Obama told Fox News Sunday he does not
believe
race is a factor in the primary election. That Prozac is really amazing.
About a month ago we found out there were prescription drugs in the
drinking
water and now it has spread to the Kool-Aid. </font><p>
<font size=5 color=red>Hillary Clinton said Friday her father taught her
how
to shoot at her family's lake cottage when she was a little girl. Her
husband went pale. If Bill had known she could shoot he never would have
considered giving up his Secret Service protection. </font><p>
<font size=5 color=red>Barack Obama's United Church of Christ pastor
Jeremiah Wright gave a fiery and defiant speech at an NAACP dinner in
Detroit Sunday. He said blacks have separate rhythms, separate tones, and
use a different side of the brain than white people. The next day, Barack
Obama sent a coded message to the Episcopal Church saying he was coming in
from the cold. </font><p>
<font size=5 color=red>Vanity Fair will publish semi-**** photos of
fifteen-year-old Disney star Miley Cyrus in June. The magazine expects the
issue to break sales records. Barack Obama said working-class Americans
always turn to child ****ography whenever they're bitter. </font><p>
<font size=5 color=red>Pastor Jeremiah Wright said Monday the U.S.
government invented AIDS to wipe out blacks. It's so sad. If only that
great
white shark had eaten a black guy instead of a white guy Friday, Jeremiah
Wright would have a new opening joke in his act today. </font><p>
<font size=5 color=red>Hillary Clinton challenged Barack Obama to a
presidential debate without using a moderator Sunday. She said they can go
at each other Lincoln-Douglas style. He would love to oblige, but right
now
his pastor is going at him Lincoln-Booth style. </font><p>
<font size=5 color=red>Barack Obama's minister Jeremiah Wright addressed
the
National Press Club in Wa****ngton D.C. on Monday. The pastor was
incendiary,
sacrilegious, smart-alecky and unpatriotic in front of the re****ters. In
other words he had them at hello. </font><p>
<font size=5 color=red>Barack Obama divorced himself from his pastor,
Jeremiah Wright, on Tuesday. He said he was shocked to hear his divisive
views. It proves that if you just sit in the pew and think about yourself
for twenty years you never hear a word the preacher says. </font><p>
<font size=5 color=red>Barack Obama's pastor Jeremiah Wright claimed
Monday
the U.S. government invented AIDS to wipe out all black people. Absolutely
no one wants to hear this. Jeremiah Wright is so annoying he's got white
people demanding reparation payments for slavery. </font><p>
<font size=5 color=red>North Carolina Governor Mike Easley said Tuesday
that
Hillary makes Rocky look like a pansy, infuriating gays. On a day when
blacks and women battled over who was more insulted, gays got insulted.
It's
taken four months for the party of Jefferson to become the front row of
Rickle's. </font><p>
<font size=5 color=red>John Lennon's hand-written lyrics to Give Peace a
Chance will be auctioned off at Christie's. He wrote the anti-war anthem
thirty-nine years ago. It's such an early draft of the song it still bears
the original title, Letting the Terrorists Win. </font><p>
<font size=5 color=red>Barack Obama's pastor Jeremiah Wright ignited a
furor
in Wa****ngton Monday. He said the U.S. invented AIDS to kill black people
and the U.S. deserved the World Trade Center attack. Telling some guys to
be
yourself is the worst advice you can give them. </font><p>
<font size=5 color=red>Barack Obama divorced himself from his minister
Jeremiah Wright on Tuesday. The minister baptized the candidate twenty
years
ago. It wouldn't be the last time that guys with Arab middle names had
their
heads held underwater by men who talked to God. </font><p>
<font size=5 color=red>Reverend Jeremiah Wright was accused Monday of
sabotaging Barack Obama because a racially divided country serves his
purposes. It's true. Yesterday he was offered a lifeguard's job at Pacific
Beach because he's always on the lookout for Great Whitey. </font><p>
<font size=5 color=red>Hillary Clinton held a photo-op on the high price
of
gas Wednesday at a South Bend gas station. She was followed by a Secret
Service motorcade of six Suburbans, two squad cars and an SUV full of
photographers. The next morning she got a FedEx envelope containing a nice
photograph of King Faisal naming her Customer of the Month. </font><p>
<font size=5 color=red>Northwestern withdrew its offer of an honorary
doctorate to Jeremiah Wright on Thursday. They won't make him Doctor of
Sacred Theology as announced. However, the offer by the U.S. Naval Academy
to make him an instructor at torpedo school still stands. </font><p>
<font size=5 color=red>Rush Limbaugh is urging his listeners to vote for
Hillary Clinton to throw the Democratic contest into chaos. The cable news
coverage is insanely slanted. Fox News did a story questioning whether or
not John McCain is, in fact, a true conservative and CNN did a story
questioning whether or not Barack Obama is, in fact, Jesus Christ.
</font><p>
<font size=5 color=red>-- Argus Hamilton</font><p>
<font size=5 color=red>Everyone's observing Arbor Day. Earlier today,
Eliot
Spitzer was dating a girl named Willow. </font><p>
<font size=5 color=red>Are you sick of the presidential primaries? Hillary
wants another debate. She has nothing more to say really, she just wants
to
show off another pantsuit.</font><p>
<font size=5 color=red>-- Letterman</font><p>
<font size=5 color=red>Hillary Clinton is talking tough. She said if Iran
ever attacked Israel, she would obliterate Iran. Though she said she
doesn't
mind Iran stoning adulterers. She agrees with them on that. </font><p>
<font size=5 color=red>She says she's a stronger candidate than Barack
Obama. To prove it, she counts the votes she got in Michigan, even though
his name wasn't even on the ballot. It's a pretty strong argument -
whenever
Barack Obama's name isn't on the ballot, she beats him. </font><p>
<font size=5 color=red>The Rev. Wright, Obama's former pastor, was
interviewed by Bill Moyer. He said he's gotten over a million e-mails and
phone calls telling him to keep on speaking out . . . every one of them
came
from Hillary Clinton. </font><p>
<font size=5 color=red>A man has staged a sit-in for prayer at a gas
station
asking God for lower gas prices. Doesn't that seem a like a question for
Allah?</font><p>
<font size=5 color=red>It was so hot, Hillary Clinton challenged Barack
Obama to another debate just so she could get the cold shoulder.</font><p>
<font size=5 color=red>The State department announced the most dangerous
place in the world today is no longer the Mideast. It's now between the
Rev.
Jeremiah Wright and the microphone. </font><p>
<font size=5 color=red>-- Leno</font><p>
<font size=5 color=red>Political experts are now saying that one reason
Hillary Clinton defeated Barack Obama in Pennsylvania is because senior
citizens prefer her. Senior citizens say they like Hillary because if you
squint . . . she kind of looks like Blanche from "The Golden Girls."
</font><p>
<font size=5 color=red>A new study has found that young voters
overwhelmingly prefer Barack Obama to Hillary Clinton. The same study
found
that Bill Clinton overwhelmingly prefers young voters to Hillary Clinton.
</font><p>
<font size=5 color=red>Hillary Clinton says she's willing to debate Barack
Obama "anytime, anywhere" and would even meet him in the back of a truck.
Which is surprising, because the "anytime, anywhere, even in the back of a
truck" offer is usually made by Bill Clinton. </font><p>
<font size=5 color=red>Tomorrow night on Fox News, Hillary Clinton will be
making her first ever appearance on Bill O'Reilly's show "The O'Reilly
Factor." Hillary should do well because she has years of experience
yelling,
"Shut up, Bill."</font><p>
<font size=5 color=red>-- Conan O'Brien</font><p>
<font size=5 color=red>Hillary Clinton announced today that she'll appear
on
"The O'Reilly Factor." Which should be great, a real confrontation. On one
side, a loudmouthed bully who wants to tear apart the Democratic Party.
And
on the other side, there's Bill O'Reilly. </font><p>
<font size=5 color=red>-- Craig Ferguson</font><p>
<font size=5 color=red>Let's stand together as voters!</font><p>
<font size=5 color=red>There are less than eight months until the
election,
an election that will decide the next President of the United States. The
person elected will be the president of all Americans, not just the
Democrats or the Republicans. To show our solidarity as Americans, let's
all
get together and show each other our sup****t for the candidate of our
choice. It's time that we all came together, Democrats and Republicans
alike.</font><p>
<font size=5 color=red>If you sup****t the policies and character of John
McCain, please drive with your headlights on during the day. If you
sup****t
Obama or Hillary, please drive with your headlights off at
night.</font><p>
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<p>
<font size=5 color=red>Just six weeks ago, Sen. Barack Obama said he could
no more disown his former pastor than he could disown his own white
grandmother.</font><p>
<font size=5 color=red>Until, of course, he did.</font><p>
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<p>
<font size=5 color=red>Hillary and Obama were in a boat going down the
river. </font><p>
<font size=5 color=red>The river was extremely rough. </font><p>
<font size=5 color=red>The boat capsized. </font><p>
<font size=5 color=red>Who was saved?</font><p>
<font size=5 color=red>AMERICA</font><p>
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