ya think doogie would like to hook up with our local kook Lady Veteran? I
hear Bobbie is a real zinger.
"Troll #327" <leonard@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
news:agrb34l6vit4eij615lptjsnc6m08gqkjn@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> I noticed when I received this that there were many many sections that
were
> repeated word for word from the transcript of Doogie's previous phone
call. It
> looks just like his USENET posts. Rehashed crap recycled ad nauseum
where
it
> has nothing to do with the subject at hand. I truly think that when
Doogie
> gets on a rant, that nothing else matters or is allowed to intrude on
his
> activity. Things such as reason, truth, and facts.
>
>
> Due to another successful FOIA request, I was able to secure a
> transcript of another conversation where Dubious Doogie
> was complaining to the FBI about some "forged FBI do***ent"in
> this conversation. I present below the official transcript of
> Doogie's further conversation with the FBI:
>
> Sometime in May 2008..
>
> FBI: "Good afternoon, FBI Seattle, Special Agent Hoover speaking,
> no, not that one, no, no relation either."
>
> Doogie: "Hello, my name is uh Doug Reiman, uhhh Doug Von Riemam,
> uhh Deitz, no lets go with Doug Grant this time and I want to discuss
> with you a case of forged FBI do***ents"
>
> FBI: "Okay, so it's Doug Grant, this time, that's G-R-A-N-T"
>
> Doogie: "Well, actually my name is Doug Reiman."
>
> FBI: "Oh, I see. Reiman. R-E-I-M-A-N"
>
> Doogie: "But I use the name Doug Grant"
>
> FBI: "Okay Mr. Grant"
>
> Doogie: "But you have to use 'TM' after my name, because it's a
> trademarked name"
>
> FBI: "So you're saying you want me to call you Mr. Grant-tm?"
>
> Doogie: "You don't have to call me that, you should just make a note
> of it next to my name."
>
> FBI: "Grant-tm. Got it. How may your government be of service to
> you today?"
>
> Doogie: "I would like to you investigate, arrest, and prosecute a
> whole bunch of people who are forging FBI do***ents. But there could
> be only one since they all use fake names all the time, so there
> are a whole bunch but only one or to whole bunches."
>
> FBI: "I see Mr. Grant-tm, how are these people forging FBI do***ents?"
>
> Doogie: "Well first off, they sent me kiddie ****. Well, actually,
> they sent me an e-mail that said 'Hot young teen babes - CLICK HERE!!'
>
> FBI: "And you consider this forging do***ents, Mr. Grant-tm? Actually,
> this is getting a little tedious, I think I'll just call you Mr. TM.
> And you believe this is forging FBI do***ents?????"
>
> Doogie: "Of course it is!! Haven't you read the statutes I've posted
> at least a thousand times regarding forgery of FBI Doucments?"
>
> FBI: "Posted? What have you posted, and to where?"
>
> Doogie: "I've posted it to rec.gambling.blackjack. It's the place
> where all the con men and the hucksters prey on innocent people,
> perpetrating egregious frauds on unsuspecting newbies."
>
> FBI: "Con men and hucksters?"
>
> Doogie: "Yes, I've already proved this in court you moron. There are
> thousands and thousands of con men hucksters and they're all
> cyberstalking me on rec.gambling.blackjack. But I already proved this
> beyond a shadow of a doubt in court."
>
> FBI: "Well Mr. TM, if you've already proved it in court, why do you
> need the FBI to be involved?"
>
> Doogie: "That's part of the conspiracy you moron!! The con men
> hucksters managed to arrange through nefarious means (this is part of
> what I need you to investigate) for the Federal Judge (who no doubt is
> in on the conspiracy) to throw out my complaint! Then, in an
> incredible shake of pure hucksterism the 3 Judges on the Federal
> Appeals court PROVED that they are part of the same conspiracy!! They
> dismissed my claims! And everyone involved is stalking me!!!"
>
> FBI: So let me get this straight, you say you're being stalked
> by a massive conspiracy that includes thousands and thousands of con
> men and hucksters and 4 Federal Judges. Ahem. So, what does this
> have to do with forged FBI do***ents???
>
> Doogie: Those con men and hucksters keep posting stuff they claim is
> a transcript of my last conversation with the FBI office. The post
> claims to be an official FBI do***ent but it is a forgery.
>
> FBI: So, it is only one pur****tely forged do***ent. And how
> do you know it is a forgery? You did call the FBI back
> then didn't you?
>
> Doogie: Yes I did, but the forgery makes me out to be a real net loon.
> It is outragous. Those con men and hucksters call it a parody.
>
> FBI: Mr. TM, it is humorous?
>
> Doogie: Not to me, like the FBI I have no sense of humor that I am
> aware of.
>
> FBI: You know that parody is protected speech don't you?
>
> Doogie: But all of my stuff copyrighted!
>
> FBI: You do know that parody is a legitmate use of copyrighted material
> don't you????
>
> Doogie: But it is trademarked and copyrighted!!!!
>
> FBI: I see Mr. TM, and aside from this and the text-only kiddie
> **** that they've sent to you, have they threatened you in any way?"
>
> Doogie: "Of course they have! One guy was claiming that I didn't
> have a registered trademark, and posted that my status was DEAD! That
> was clearly a veiled death threat."
>
> FBI: Your status is dead?
>
> Doogie: No you idiot! The status of my trademark is dead! Not me!
> That's why it was clearly a death threat!
>
> FBI: "Mr. TM, your trademark is dead? Then why are you insisting I
> call you Mr. TM Mr. Grant?"
>
> Doogie: "You will recognize my trademark, because I claim common law
> trademark rights! Don't you know anything you blithering fool!?"
>
> FBI: "Yes Mr. Grant no-tm, please continue about the death threats."
>
> Doogie: "Another group of people all threatened to put me in their
> kill files! Clearly, they intend to cause me harm."
>
> FBI: "Killfile you?"
>
> Doogie: "Yes. This is clearly a threat from the con men hucksters."
>
> FBI: "Don't forget the Federal Judges."
>
> Doogie: "I haven't even gotten to the best part yet."
>
> FBI: "And that is?"
>
> Doogie: "All of these con men and hucksters are really the same
> person."
>
> FBI: "They are?"
>
> Doogie: "Yes, his name is Bingo Billy Rusty BillyRubin Abdul Solinas
> Mizz Tie"
>
> FBI: "That's one hell of a name."
>
> Doogie: "Yes, they are using dozens and dozens of AOL accounts to
> stalk me. Believe me, I know how it works. I once created 150 AOL
> accounts in order to defeat one of their nefarious plans."
>
> FBI: "You defeated their nefarious plans by creating 150 AOL
> accounts?"
>
> Doogie: "Well, no, I didn't actually defeat them. The USENET
> Volunteer Votetaker turned out to be another member of the conspiracy,
> and she through out all of my fake votes as frauds!!"
>
> FBI: "So these people are all one person posting from AOL accounts."
>
> Doogie: "Oh no, it's much worse than that. They have a magical way
> of making their posts look like they're not coming from AOL. They use
> aol, home.com, web-tv, paxentertainment and hundreds of other
> providers. But THEY'RE REALLY ONLY ONE GUY POSTING FROM AOL!!!!"
>
> "IT'S CLEARLY A MASSIVE CONSPIRACY!!! ALL DESIGNED TO CYBERSTALK
> ME!!!!"
>
> FBI: "Clearly, eh? Okay."
>
> Doogie: "The most sinister part of it all involves Mizz Tie."
>
> FBI: "Mizz Tie?"
>
> Doogie: "Yes. You see, she claims to work for a casino. But it's
> obvious that all of the con men hucksters are liars, so she obviously
> doesn't work for a casino."
>
> FBI: "And this is sinister how?"
>
> Doogie: "Because it's all part of the conspiracy! You see, because
> she is a con man huckster and a liar, it's obvious that she's SECRETLY
> WORKING FOR THE CASINOS!!!!"
>
> FBI: "I thought you said that she SAID she worked for a casino."
>
> Doogie: "I did! Don't you see now how deep and sinister this plot
> really is?"
>
> FBI: "I see Mr. no-tm. And do you feel as though you're in any
> danger?"
>
> Doogie: "No, I'm not in any danger. I was in Vietnam as a Navy Seal.
> I've killed many many times. I've got a PURPLE HEART MEDAL err, Card,
> err you know what I mean. I am not afraid of those con men
> hucksters."
>
> FBI: "You were a Navy Seal and have a Purple Heart Medal?"
>
> Doogie: "Well, no. I was actually a seamstress. I stitched ID seals
> and insignia on to uniforms for the Navy. It was a killer job, that's
> what I meant. I stabbed myself a couple of times and even drew blood.
> When I told my story to my secretary she just slipped up and posted
> that I had a Purple Heart to an account that I owned and was totally
> legally responsible for any content attributed to that account. I
> tried to have it taken down, but the Google Engineers are secretly
> working for the CASINOS too. Google put the post back up in it's
> original form as posted on the account that I am totally responsible
> for. Don't you see, they are all working against me - all of them!!!"
>
>
> FBI: "So let's see if I got this straight. You are being
> cyberstalked by one guy on AOL who posts under thousands of aliases
> and 4 Federal Judges, who sent you spam e-mail, told you your
> trademark status was dead and they threatened to killfile you. You
> don't feel threatened by any of this and you believe that this
> qualifies as cyberstalking."
>
> Doogie: "Of course you moron! I've posted the cyberstalking statutes
> a thousand times. This is clearly proof!"
>
> FBI: "Yes Mr. Grant. Anything else?"
>
> Doogie: "Yes. They called me a maroon."
>
> FBI: "A maroon?"
>
> Doogie: "Yes, they say: 'What a maroon' whenever I post"
>
> FBI: "Oh, I get it!! Like Bugs Bunny! "What a maroon!"
>
> Doogie: "No you blithering fool!! It's racist!! They are using
> racist slurs to intimidate me!!"
>
> FBI: "Oh, Mr. Grant. I didn't realize you were black"
>
> Doogie: "I'M NOT BLACK, YOU IDIOT!!! This is all part of the
> cyberstalking! They use racist slurs against me to stalk me and
> threaten me!!"
>
> FBI: "Well Mr. Maroon, uh, Grant, eh Reiman. I have no doubt that
> you are being cyberstalked, and we'll get to the bottom of it right
away.
>
> "How can we reach you?"
>
> Doogie: "Well, I live in the State of Wa****ngton now, but I don't
> actually live in the State of Wa****ngton, I live in Las Vegas, Nevada.
> But you can reach me at my Wa****ngton phone number which forwards to
> my home in Las Vegas where I have hundreds of sup****ters who answer
> the phone and say it's me."
>
> FBI: "Yes Mr. Grant no-tm, we'll get on this right away"
>
> Doogie: "The cyberstalking must end!!!"
>
> FBI: "Yes, Mr. Grant."
>
> [ sound of telephone hanging up ]
>
> FBI: "What a maroon."
>
> xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
>
> ®2008 House of Pain, LLC
>
> **************************************************************
>
> With apologies to Rusty Martin
>
> Copyright 2001 - Rusty Martin
> Freely distributable throughout the internet so long as attribution is
> given.
>
>
> Rusty Martin
>
> "Indeed, we are satisfied that the appellants have mischaracterized
> the facts." "...the reshuffle is hardly secret as the dealer does it
> openly in the view of the players."--3rd Circuit Court of Appeals,
> Justice Greenberg [Well duh! Doug]
>
>
>
|
