"Believe me," the s**** said, "when push comes to shove you can always be
sure that an animal will vote for his
own species: a rat will always vote for a rat, a skunk for a skunk, an
eagle for an eagle, and so on. That's just the way it is "
"But I'm the only ass in this forest," the ass said.
"Yes, but you can always make the other animals think that you consider
them like your own
kind. Just remember: whenever you're talking to a group of animals,
make them think you
regard them as the most im****tant animals in the forest, in fact the best
animals in the whole
world! Just tell them what a great contribution they've made to this
forest and how all the other
animals ought to be happy they're here--even though the odds are that
most of the other animals
really can't stand them. Compliment them, flatter them, tell them how
im****tant they are; in
short, make them believe you really, really like them and that all the
other animals ought to do
the same."
"Do you think they'd believe me?" the ass asked, skeptical.
"Oh, they'll believe you all right," the s**** said. "If there's one
thing I know for sure about the
animals in this forest it's that each species always thinks it's the
best, even when it's really the
worst. They'll go for any candidate they think is on their side."
THE POLITY OF BEASTS
The most politically incorrect book of its time.
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