1. Tattoos.
Tattoos used to be the colouring of soldiers, sailors, mafiosi and
punk rockers. About ten years ago, they became fa****onable. The lower-
middle cl***** started taking them up. Unfortunately, unlike last
years' shoes, tattoos can't be taken to the thrift shop and disposed
of.
To a certain class of person, tattoos are 'cool'. To another, they are
a graffito on the temple of the soul. They mark a woman definitively
as lower class, alienated, depressed, and a bit daft. They're also a
handy way to identify one absolutely to the authorities. Which shows
how stupid some crooks are.
The same goes for piercings. My family are farmers. I associate nose
rings with bulls, and piercings with cattle tags. They are a haven of
dirt, infection, and their openings look unsightly.
With tattoos and piercings, before you've opened your mouth, you've
already typed yourself to people you meet.
2. Highlights and streaks.
Are you blonde, or brunette? Make up your mind! These might have been
novel ten years ago. Now they just look common. Not all gentlemen
prefer blondes. A healthy head of untinted brunette or raven dark hair
is a pleasant novelty these days.
It is true that blondes have more fun. I used to be one! Most people
on the planet are dark. A non-blonde with blonde hair looks
'interesting'.
Now this fa****on is done to death, however. If they're doing it in
Romford, it's buried!
3. Big hoop earrings.
Unmistakably part of the wardrobe of the gypsy. Which is fine if you
are one. Strangely popular. Perhaps they're to make the wearer's head
look smaller. Add them to the features above, and an unattractive type
emerges.
4. Binge drinking.
Binge drinking, squawking and falling over in the street is hilarious
if you are the one doing it. If you are the spectator, it's less so.
5. Visible G-string.
This is *****c, no doubt about it. Unless you haven't the figure to
pull it off. Likely to provoke a reaction of 'Mother of G*d!' when
adorning the pasty, blemished buttocks of the 'full-figured' young
lady. Bad diet, no exercise, five-pints-a-night, then 'peek
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